Day: 2/28/08

Ok, still not much of anything going on.

Work is still work. Though job #2 became more difficult as the night went on. We started off short-handed, as one of our girls called in. Normally, this isn't much of a problem, but, an hour into my shift, another girl said she had to go home for being sick. Ok, bigger problem now. So, with just a cosmetician on the front register, and me in the photo lab and a manager having to do everything else, we somehow managed to pull it all together and make it through our nightly rushes. By the time I get home, I'm not hungry but I eat my burger, get cleaned up, and head to bed.

I do have one little update regarding my blog. I'm sure you've noticed the redhead cutie off to the side there. Woohoo! Thanks to www.weatherpixie.com for the sort-of-current weather information.

Day: 2/26/08

Been kind of a slow few days for me. I have spent some of my time perusing various online comics, which I have added links to the ones I liked at the bottom of this page. To say there is a lot of unknown talent out there is an understatement. I makes me wonder how these artists and creative forces are so underutilized. I look at Hollywood and the movie and tv companies and think of how little innovation is out there. Remakes, redos, updates, sequels, and rip-offs seem to be what they are interested in making. For example, all these 'reality' shows. What part of reality are they living in? I don't know very many people that live or act on a normal basis in the manner these people portray themselves.

I do enjoy watching the game shows. Wheel of Fortune has been a long time favorite. I recall watching it for many years after school at my grandparents house. It was always fun and interesting to try to guess the puzzle before the contestants did. Another favorite is Jeopardy. Admittedly, I don't often get many right, but I get a few. I take quite a few stabs in the dark at the questions; sometimes I get lucky and get it right. I also use to enjoy Press Your Luck, the Whammy always was a treat to see even though the animations were, by today's standards, lack-luster.

Now, I was watching a newer show, Moment of Truth, this is not so much a game show, its more like a "lets see whose life we can F up this week" kind of deal. The lady that was 'playing' was sort of recently married, and her family and husband were on the show in a kind of 'family room' section. This show hooked the player up to a lie detector and asked a bunch of very personal and potentially damaging questions. Then, they all piled into the studio and the 'player' was reasked the questions in front of everyone and had to match her answers from earlier based on the lie detector results. By the end of her set of questions, she had admitted on tv that she was in love with an ex-boyfriend, thought she was married to the wrong guy, had cheated on her husband, and would leave him in a heartbeat for the ex if he asked. Ok, what part of that was a 'game'? Was the $50,000 worth destroying her marriage, her parent's faith in her, and her friends respect? I felt more like I was watching a sleazy daytime, or very late at night, talk show than a game show.

I had ranted before, elsewhere, about how it seems that today's society has gone to Hell in a handbasket when these kind of shows are considered entertainment. We are bombarded by an onslaught of shows, that degrade and demean people for the sake of money or some other form of 'reward'. In days past, shows had a message, gave life a meaning, or were morally upright in the least. I miss the days of Andy Griffith and Leave it to Beaver. Back in the days when people may fight over something, but in the end they worked out their differences and moved on, not dress up in drag and try to beat each other bloody on network tv. Our daily news is filled with scenes and stories of violent behavior, corruption, and general nastiness the world over. It is rare indeed to see a story of someone doing the right thing or of defusing a situation that could have gotten worse if the participants had not been of more moral character.

Are our standards so low? Do we want this to be how we are remembered when we leave this mortal coil? What kind of message are we sending to our children? We live in a world of violence and lacking in basic civility and morals. People don't seem to care if a few hundred people are killed a year per city. If you do the math out, that is thousands of people killed often for less reason than because they had a nice pair of shoes that someone else wanted but couldn't afford right away. Theft, murder, drugs, prostitution, violence, hatred seem to be what society peddles now. I fear for my own child, growing up in a world like this. How many temptations of wrong doing will he face in his life? How can one family stand against it all so that their children can grow up knowing right and wrong?

I look to what I believe and offer hope that I may pass on to my son understanding, tolerance, and faith so that he will be able to face the world honestly and be able to make decisions that are morally correct and of an upstanding citizen. I know the journey will not be easy, but I look at the stars and think that we will make it through.

Day: 2/24/08

Party time at the house. We had worked hard to scrub and polish the last few items in the house for the baby shower. The meat tray, vegetable tray, ice cream punch, bite-size little wieners, and other drinks were all assembled and laid out for the guests to begin arriving. We had been told to expect 30 or so people. Now, I don't know who learned how to count where, but we had maybe 8 show. 30...8...last I remember being taught, 8 is much smaller than 30. So, after a wonderful effort on everyone's part, we were comfy with the small group that did arrive and the mom-to-be-again had a really nice little party.

My friend and co-worker, Aradiana and her son did a wonderful job on the cake. It was greatly enjoyed and the teddy bears on the cake were ooh'ed and aah'ed appropriately. After we get all the pictures in, I will try to remember to modify this post to show off some of the pictures.

After a little clean-up, redishing and handing out left overs, and tidying the place back up to par, we all sat down to enjoy a few beers (Guinness in my case ;) ) and just enjoy our company for a few hours.

We had a minor panic after everyone was about to leave. One of the cars did not want to crank. So, me and my friend piled into my car, dragging a car battery along to Auto Zone and had it tested. Ok, Auto Zone says despite its look, it's perfectly fine. Ok, back home with the news. Next step, clean. Baking soda and some water with a toothbrush are taken to the contacts and battery to shine it up a bit and clear a little build-up around the terminals. Put it all back together and.....VROOM! Yay! So I did my good deed for the day and saved my friend a lot of money by sharing a little knowledge.

Day: 2/23/08

Rearranging day! Ok, after having the den in its configuration for a few years now, we felt the need to open it up a bit. I freely admit, I am not a decorator. But, courtesy of a friend of ours, we managed to rearrange the furniture and what nots into a workable space. At first impression, the room does feel like it has a little more foot space to it. Only time will tell if it holds up. I have it already a few things that need to be created to maintain a couple of pieces orientations.

On a sad note, my tv of many years committed suicide. I am not sure what the motivation was for it to do such a thing, but perhaps it was missing its electrical supply having been unplugged for the better part of the day.

RIP: JVC 26" tv.

After the memorial for the tv, we had to get about putting some finishing touches on the house. We had agreed to host a baby shower for a friend of ours, and as anyone with children knows, a perfectly clean house is next to impossible. As night approached, and we put the toy cars back for the nth time, we called it a night and hoped to get up early the next morning.

Day: 2/21/08

Strange day today. I was busy, but not busy, at the same time. Of course, I think I mostly felt that way because work was interrupting my reading. My focus on my studies has increased as I have continued to navigate through the internet. For the past two, or so, days, I have been slowly advancing through a file regarding CyberCraft. I have been taking my time with this file as I hit a reference to another document, and in interest, I headed off to find the other document. Such are the ways of my wanderings of late.

The new document, the Humanist Manifesto II is an interesting document. It outlines the goals and thoughts of what the American Humanist Association is promoting. As the CyberCraft document referenced this manifesto as to be included in its scope, I figured it would be good to know what it was. Primarily, it is a call to all people to try sitting down and talking things out instead of killing each other in the name of religion, God, king, country, etc. etc. An end to poverty, hunger, government corruption, are all addressed (kind of vaguely sometimes in my opinion) as problems that need to be overcome. The website maintains that there are thousands of signatures, but only lists a few of those as signers of the manifesto. It was theorized that one of the reasons the manifesto has received so many signatures is due to a line in reference to that about signing that you basically agree with the intent of the document, even if you don't agree with every point.

While I think there are plenty of problems in the world. I am curious as to how we could attempt to solve them. Sure, we could take everyone's individual wealth, put it all in a big pool, and then give every person a percentage of that pool. Would this end poverty? No, it just gives everyone an equal footing for a second. I honestly believe that a lot of our poverty comes from governments and social issues. The government taxes or just takes what it wants in pretty much every country of the world. And social education teaches some people that it is ok to just sit at home eating bon bons on the couch and let someone else do all the work and then let the government cut this lazy arse a check each month because of their 'illness' of obesity or some other inane reason. We are a nation of welfare.

Now before I get misunderstood, I know that there are people out there that are unable to work at most things due to some limitation or impairment. I fully understand that if you had both arms chopped off in an accident at work, yeah, I have no problem with you having welfare. Certainly there are people that honestly deserve the help. If you were temporarily laid off or lost your job, honestly, then no, I have no problem trying to help out while you are trying to get a new job.

As you can see, I am just kind of bouncing around as the Chaos leads me. I never know what I will wind up looking into now, but at least I am learning and trying to expand my knowledge and wisdom. Chaos has brought me attempts to break out of the rut. For that, I am thankful, because I was getting bored.

Day: 2/19/08

Well, nothing much to report about lately. It has been a number of days of just routine work and sleep. Of any research I've done, I have been online reading various web pages on Chaos Magic practice and theory. To see some of my travels, I have added a new page feature of links that I find useful and care to share. It is right below the RSS feeds for other blogs on the right-hand side of the page. For those who are more adult, I also have added a new link to the very bottom of the page. Please, no minors. You have been warned. :)

Day: 2/13/08

It never ceases to amaze me at how many people wait until the last minute to make purchases around various holidays. In this instance, Valentine's Day. This day, at the store, we were nearly mobbed. I am curious as to how so many people can wait until the 11th hour when they know that a certain day is approaching they can, in good conscious, purchase things that are supposed to have a meaningful value but are often bought in a hurry and with little thought. Certainly there is some merit to "it's the thought that counts", but does it really merit that much? Due to situations I allowed to get out of control, I didn't particularly do anything for this holiday. But, to run into a store on the last minute and purchase a card and a box of chocolates? It seems like a quick out for something that someone didn't take the time to put much thought into. At least I don't feel like I took an easy out and made a hasty, uncaring purchase just to make it through the holiday.

I ranted before at the commercialization of holidays. I won't get into it again, at the moment.

Now, just to be clear. I know not everyone has the option of planning an elaborate dinner or some romantic gesture for their significant other on this holiday. Work, school, bills, they all sometimes just don't allow for the time or ability to do something that really shows you care. But, as far as a gesture to show that you care, is it really necessary to do something big and expensive? I don't think so. So long as the person knows that you care deeply about them, a true gesture of your affection and care will suffice. While it may not seem like much, I did such a gesture. We had managed to exhaust all the hot water in the water tank this night, and she wanted to take a hot bath. So, being the caring person I am, I heated water on the stove and carried it pot by pot to the tub and poured it in so that she could have her bath. I didn't have to do it. I did it because I really care for her, and wanted her to have her warm bath. In such a case, I don't believe a card or a box of chocolates would have meant so much from me.

I would suggest to each that when a holiday comes around to take a few moments and consider why we celebrate that holiday, and how much we care about our family and loved ones. Even a simple gesture can mean the world to someone without being expensive or extravagant.

Day: 2/11/08

My mood seemed to darken somewhat today. I don't know if it is just a depression from dealing with different facets of my life as it is now, or just boredom. Probably a little of both. I guess at some point, someone would say I was depressed. Oh well, it is something that I have dealt with before. Time is on my side this time, too. Sure, things may look bad, but at least I can have some faith that even as hard as things may seem, there are those who are worse off.

I remember a passage that I read one day regarding things like this...

"There was a man walking along carrying a large cross on his back (as Jesus did in the Bible). The cross was heavy, and the man struggled to carry it. Turning his eyes to the heavens, he called out, "Lord, this cross is much too heavy for me. Please take this burden from me." To the man's surprise, the Lord appeared and showed the man a door. The Lord said, "I will take your burden from you. Place the cross you carry inside this room and you may pick any other cross in there to replace it with." The man thanked the Lord, and entered the room, setting his cross down against a wall.
Inside the room, there were crosses of many sizes, some were so large that the top of them could not be seen from where the man stood. As he moved around the room, the man picked up different crosses, feeling their weight and returning them to where they were. Just as the man was getting frustrated, he found a small cross against a wall. The man picked up the cross and found it to weigh nearly nothing. Looking to the Lord, the man said, "I will take this cross, Lord." The Lord smiled at the man and said, "My child, that is the cross you came in with."

I have always enjoyed this story, it gives me hope that we are never given more than what we can carry. Sure, sometimes what we carry can seem like a great weight, but compared to some, they are nothing.

I look to my chaos star, and it reminds me that things can go many different directions. Whether they may be in our favor or not, there is always a choice. So, I comfort myself that the Chaos is doing what it needs to do in my life. I am still depressed feeling a bit, but at least I have help along the way.

Day: 2/9/08

While at work, I found myself musing over an odd subject. IF one product is supposedly better than any others, then WHY are there a million and one types of it? Sprays, creams, lotions, gels, ovules, spray gels, spray creams, etc. I can understand why there are normally different brands, but for one brand to have one product in 30 different varieties (and I'm not just meaning flavors, colors, or smells)? How many options does a person need? Certainly different people are more comfortable using a 'tried and true' method, but when a way comes along that is better and more effective, why continue with the old stand-by?

I figure that a lot of it has to do with a person's comfort level with a product. They know it works the way it is, so why bother changing? Certainly, I can say that I have been such a person in the past and sometimes too in the present. Perhaps some of it is a fear. A fear that they don't know how to use the product or that it may be different in some significant way and it won't work as well. Some may just have heard some rumor or story from someone's brother's aunt's uncle's former roommate that the new way is wrong or bad in some way.

I can even understand there being different 'strengths' to a product. Regular, extra strength, maximum strength, ultimate stupendous marvelous strength. Ok, certainly different people need different levels of strength, no argument there. Flavors too I can understand, not everyone likes pistachio mocha banana flavor. Color as well, no argument, I don't think I would look good wearing polka-dot stripes.

Getting off my rant, I do need to remind myself of something that occurred on the Friday before, 2/8/08. An old friend told me that an old spirit that use to stay with me had been sighted again. For near a year he has been around, but my friend only felt comfortable saying something to me about it until now so that she could be sure it was him.

This is really an interesting revelation, in that before now, he had not been sighted but every couple of years or so. That suddenly there would be a resurgence of his appearances is testimony to something possibly having happened to draw him back to our circle of friends. At the moment, I do not know what this event could have been, but there are people looking in to it.

Day: 2/5/08

A moment of silence is requested to remember those who lost their lives, homes, friends, families, and faced hardship in the wake of the storms of February 5, 2008 in the Memphis-metro and surrounding areas.

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A day of changes today, some more welcome than others.

I followed my normal routine: wake, wash, drive, coffee. So, while I'm at work, I get the call from home that I need to come home because momma is all up with the stomach virus. Ok, that doesn't go over well at work, but after a few phone calls, there is no help for it, I have to go home.

Home was not a pleasant scene. The rugrat had made a mess of whatever he could get his hands on. Momma was praying at the porcelain god. And there was that very distinct smell...you know it, bet you can almost smell it yourself right now. In the words of my son, "Ewwwwww".

Ok, clean up time, momma first, then the floor. Momma makes it to bed and is out like a light. So me and the kiddo occupy ourselves with what we can find. Generally, it is his Hot Wheels, or some of his many and varied selection of playballs. I do manage to get a little time on the Playstation 2. I really shouldn't play when I'm really tired, since this time I managed to save a new game on top of my old game...oops. So much for all those hours of play. Oh well, I wasn't happy with the direction of that other game anyways. I learned late in it that I had missed some very valuable opportunities.

Anyway, if you know Memphis bloggers, I am sure that everyone in the city with a blog has written about the storms that rolled through this night. Driving winds, rain, tornadoes, etc. Quite the night. I haven't seen that much television without commercials in a long time. At the house, we occupied our time watching the weather, and taking ventures outside to see what the sky was doing. The boy wasn't really into the mood as for the short time we hunkered down in the hallway, he didn't feel like being quiet and was restless. Guess he was feeling the storm's energy, he was a handful. Later, after the first squall hit, we had a few moments of peace while the news channels kept on about the first storm until the second one came along.

The second storm wasn't as dangerous as the first, but it came along with 50+ mph winds and more rain. It moved through the area so quickly that no one really had long to worry about it. Of course, it looked a lot worse on the tv's radar systems. And they had to use every version of software they had, in rotation, to show just how bad it might be and looked. Sometimes, I think they just do that to show off how much money they have spent on this stuff. Don't get me wrong now, I appreciate their work and dedication to warn us of danger from the weather, it's just sometimes, I think they overdo it.

So after all the commotion was over, we put the kid to bed, me to bed, and momma was not far behind. Now, normally, I'm not this tired this early in the evening. I think that some of my tiredness was from that during the storm, I had this subtle feeling of energy coming out of me. Now, I don't know one way or the other, but I feel like I either fed the storm some energy, or was keeping the worst of the storm and tornadoes at bay from the house and family. I will hope it is the second reason and not the first. Maybe it was a little of both. Chaos is funny that way. :)

Pictures of some of the damage:

Day: 2/3/08

Having taken up the path of Chaos Magick, I have found chaos in my life in many strange ways. I do have to note, that I have to remind myself that just because I have an energy to call upon for help, does not mean to call on it every second of every day. I mention this because I have on occassion called upon Chaos to help me in some way that I probably should be doing on my own. Or, that it was something that if I had done it right the first time, then I wouldn't have to be in a situation where I needed help with it.

Chaos has come unbidden at times too. I was wasting time on the internet this day, and I had a sudden urge to explore mathmatical equations. This in turn sent me searching for physics equations, and that ultimately to the physics of the galaxy. That search lead me to "the physics of Super Mario Galaxy" (honestly, it's really been done, this is just one of the links for it). Who would have thought that I could absorb myself in the reading of this article that is nearly ubergeek-dom (yes, I am still something of a geek myself, so don't hate me for such a comment).

I digress here to make a note that apparently I am making some progress on my personal growth. That I could focus my entire attention into this article, is a step in the right direction. Attention is said in some systems to be the base of all that we do, the better you can pay attention, the better you will live. Or something like that. :)

For a quiet (or as quiet as a day can get with a 2 year old in the house) Sunday, it was rather uneventful, and that is just ok with me :)

Day: 1/31/08

Ok, being sick isn't really much fun. Oral and anal diarrhea don't always combine well. If you're not praying to the porcelain god, your sitting on 'im. I am not quite sure of the reason for my illness, though I suspect my sinuses have a lot to do with it. So, I took most of the day off work. Come about 5 p.m. I was feeling a bit better so I took my chances and went in to job #2. In hindsight, I probably should have stayed home.

Work was a flurry. I was too busy to worry much about my weakened health. A man down is not always well taken, and tonight was one of those nights. At least the photo machine wasn't dead or over-worked like some nights. The manager seeing I didn't have much to do except to check out the ever-present line of customers asked me to set up a 12' section of the store with the remaining Valentine's Day candy hearts. Well, between customers and the occasional photo order, I managed to have the section done in about 4 hours.

Once I returned home, I ate my Wendy's and went to bed. Real exciting night, I know. :)