Day: 2/11/08

My mood seemed to darken somewhat today. I don't know if it is just a depression from dealing with different facets of my life as it is now, or just boredom. Probably a little of both. I guess at some point, someone would say I was depressed. Oh well, it is something that I have dealt with before. Time is on my side this time, too. Sure, things may look bad, but at least I can have some faith that even as hard as things may seem, there are those who are worse off.

I remember a passage that I read one day regarding things like this...

"There was a man walking along carrying a large cross on his back (as Jesus did in the Bible). The cross was heavy, and the man struggled to carry it. Turning his eyes to the heavens, he called out, "Lord, this cross is much too heavy for me. Please take this burden from me." To the man's surprise, the Lord appeared and showed the man a door. The Lord said, "I will take your burden from you. Place the cross you carry inside this room and you may pick any other cross in there to replace it with." The man thanked the Lord, and entered the room, setting his cross down against a wall.
Inside the room, there were crosses of many sizes, some were so large that the top of them could not be seen from where the man stood. As he moved around the room, the man picked up different crosses, feeling their weight and returning them to where they were. Just as the man was getting frustrated, he found a small cross against a wall. The man picked up the cross and found it to weigh nearly nothing. Looking to the Lord, the man said, "I will take this cross, Lord." The Lord smiled at the man and said, "My child, that is the cross you came in with."

I have always enjoyed this story, it gives me hope that we are never given more than what we can carry. Sure, sometimes what we carry can seem like a great weight, but compared to some, they are nothing.

I look to my chaos star, and it reminds me that things can go many different directions. Whether they may be in our favor or not, there is always a choice. So, I comfort myself that the Chaos is doing what it needs to do in my life. I am still depressed feeling a bit, but at least I have help along the way.