Day: 5/17/08

I acquired a couple of items over the weekend of which I am quite excited. The first is the book, "Chaos: The Making of a New Science" *ad pimp alert* which can be found in the Amazon list to the right *end ad pimp alert*. The other book is Liber Null & Psychonaut (which I have yet to scratch the surface of). The last thing I bought was a new deck of cards of Shaman cards (I do not remember the exact name of them at the moment).

The first book, Chaos, is really an interesting read to me. It is not so much a religious text on Chaos magick, nor is it particularly about the field of Chaos math/physics/science. It is primarily about the 'how' of Chaos coming into the picture of mathematics and physics the world over. It is a chronicle of sorts of the different original discoverers of this new field of science. It talks about their discoveries, without too much detail to bore the reader, and the struggles they endured to have their work recognized and accepted.

The second book, Liber Null & Psychonaut is actually two books in one. This is, as I understand it, a good read for those new to the realm of Chaos Magick. I have only read the first few pages, as the author states it is something of a workbook used by the Illuminates of Thanateros to train new members. As it is presented in a manner of a workbook, I feel I should definitely take this one slow and work my way through it. One of the first things the book recommends it to create a magickal journal and keep a daily record of all work done or not as well as thoughts and results while undertaking this path. I am still considering how I will manage this daily journal. I had considered putting it here, but I am uncertain of that. I could certainly make a new blog, or use my crippled and disused LJ page for it. Or, I may just keep it private.

I am not so keen on the keeping private, as I would like to share my journey and allow others who may just happen by and understand what is going on to give advice or point me in new directions that I may have missed. Much of any religion is being able to give and receive advice from others who have been there. This exchange enriches much of the tradition, especially lesser understood paths, and keeps people from feeling like they are the only person on the planet to be have this one particular problem. Chances are, if you are having a problem, there is someone else who has been there before. I do understand why some people may consider the private route as well. There is a lot of hatred and distrust and ugliness in the world we live in. People have little tolerance for things they do not believe in or do not understand or have been taught that it is wrong on more levels than there are stars in the sky. Point is, if I do go the public route and receive a hateful or aggressive comment, I will just read it, consider it, but I will not probably reply to it, and then continue on with those comments that are a little more helpful.

The shaman cards too I am taking slowly (I can't remember the name of them because of this). As I have them at work, I take each morning and draw one card, in order, out of the deck and put it right in front of me where I can see it as I work. While it is not particularly actively working with the card, I am still letting my subconscious work with the card. Once I have made it through the whole deck, I will be better (I hope) able to decide the best way for me to use the cards in my path work. I may not find any use for them, but I may find intense use for them, who knows.

I did have a good laugh though tonight. As I sat talking with a few online friends, I found that my 2 1/2 year old son had gotten a hold of my Liber Null book and had sat himself on the couch and was turning through the pages with a rather serious look on his face. I gently exchanged that book for his bunny book and moved my book to a higher shelf. While he probably meant no harm, harm sometimes comes in accidental ways when it comes to children and things. :)

Dream: 5/16/08

Just a few bits of this dream remembered.

I recall seeing outside a number of times into a backyard much larger than my real backyard. In the yard was a variety of great and small cats, and some 'odd' dog-like creatures. I say dog-like because I knew them to be dogs, but they were over-developed in certain areas. Like the one I saw the clearest the front half was very developed and yet compact, but it did not strike a particular appearance like any dogs I have known.

Mostly the dream centered on the cats. One cat I knew was my young lady, Dixie. She has developed to be an indoor/outdoor cat, and during the dream she was outside. Most of the animals were content to leave her alone, but in the yard was a large tiger. This tiger was more aggressive than the other cats. I saw a cat seem to run towards the house as if it had been wounded and the hair was kind of tangled and in tufts.

Thinking this was Dixie, I went to the door to let her in. Not seeing her near the door, I entered the yard to look for her. I saw the real Dixie out in the mid part of the yard. She saw me and began heading my way. As she moved, the tiger began to advance on her in a manner as if to attack. I turned to face the tiger and gave a strong command. The tiger hesitated at my voice, waited a moment, then began to approach again. Three times I halted the tiger, and each time it would wait and then begin to advance. Finally, Dixie made the backdoor and went into the house with me right behind her.

End of memory.

Day: 5/7/08

Well, up to today, I had been keeping to my small exercise routine. My legs are still doing 3 sets at 20 lbs, but my arm curls have been slow going. I had thought they might be further along when I started, but I guess that was not the case. I am planning on stepping my legs up to 25 lbs, but I will keep the arms at 20 for the time being. I know it sounds weird, but I never liked having to stop and change plates just for different exercises. I am keeping the bench press at 20 lbs so that the muscles can get used to the workload. I may not be building much muscle there, but toning muscle is just as important.

I did not do any exercises today. I had spent the better part of the day sick, so by this evening, though I was feeling much better, I figured my system had better things to do than worry about rebuilding used muscle too.

Once I get my exercise routine in as a routine, I will be able to expand other areas of my life I have been neglecting. My mystic studies have stagnated mostly from a lack of time. I need to get back into those so that I can do more work with it. Just because the body is sound does not mean the mind or soul is.

Day: 5/4/08

Today I started back on my exercise regimen. I am trying to keep it simple so I do not overdo it and lose interest.

For starters, I have always known that my upper body strength was far behind my lower body. My lower torso, well, a beer belly does not quite cover it. So, I need to increase my upper strength, trim my middle, and tone my lower.

To begin, as I said, simply, I did just two exercises.

Bench press @ 20#s: 15/15/15
Arm curls (press bar) @ 20#s: 15/6/4

My chest muscles handled the bench press with little effort, but my curls were obviously much harder. These need a lot of work, as I knew they would. I am a bit surprised at the chest muscles being able to out perform the arms, but I hope to bring everything together in time.

Day: 5/3/08

We had the annual family crayfish cookout today. This is a grand party held by the family where many friends, family, and others are invited to the house to eat, drink, and be merry.

For me and my small part of the family, we have attended this gathering since its inception. My girlfriend was first introduced to crayfish after the second party. She was a stubborn non-eater of the little delicacies until she broke down in a fit of hunger and ate some. Ever since, she has craved them and eats her fill at every opportunity. My son, on the other hand, will eat one or two, but given the spiciness of the crayfish, he bows out after that. This year, he was much more active, since he is almost three now. On his own decision, he learned that the cookie and cake table was actually something he could reach onto! Oh dear, sugar rush from Hell! But really, it is ok, he had fun playing with the other kids at the party.

Here at the house, we have been continuing our Spring Cleaning. This time we are focusing more on simplification of our domicile. We honestly have too much junk and things we keep for no particular reason except to have. This is not a good situation as the house always feels cluttered even when it is cleaned up. A friend said that in her system of belief Asatru, that there are wraiths that on occasion need to be appeased to help in the cleaning of the house. I think my wraiths around here aren't very happy with us. It always seems that there is more and more to clean up. Of course, that could just be because of a hyper 2 1/2 year old in the house too. :)